The phrase "How are you doing?" is so blindly used. And if I were to be truthful to the handful of people that I see throughout the day that ask me this question in passing, I would say:

Some days or moments in the day I'm doing good, then others not so much.

When I get out of therapy on Tuesdays I am emotionally drained. I want to curl up and cry about what was just discussed and reflect upon. But because we live in a world that does not value emotions and the process of processing emotions, I have to run of to Psychology 01, and then Justice, Community, and Leadership 121 and pretend I wasn't just crying and I'm not hurting. I text back the man that I love, who doesn't love me like he use to and pretend to be cool with just being friends for now. I talk to my friends, that know me on a superficial level because I haven't been able to open up as much as I can because I am scared of being judged or left again. I have recently lost 4 friends, which makes me hesitant in the relationships I already have or the ones that are currently forming. I secretly have a crush on two guys that I am way too scared and hesitate to talk to, even thought I dared myself to try and talk to one, and it was okay. I haven't felt butterflies fluttering through my stomach while I talked to a guy before in a long time, but I don't think anything will happen with that.    But on the other hand I have been going to the gym 5 days a week for the past 2 weeks, so this is my 3rd week. Even though I snack right after with chips or popcorn, cause I love eating. But this week I will be snacking on carrots and apples with peanut butter instead of chips and popcorn.

PS. I should be studying for my Psychology test :)

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