Vanillamoonlight

as a poet youd think id have all the right words to say, sweet loving expressive.  i still lack self control in fits of being misunderstood. feeling tongue tied by whom don’t get me to fiery a response from someone who should know how to walk the talk spurs of embers unleashed from the depths of my somber pits as you hear my fury i cant stop or halt the word canons that fire into your grasp fits of me lacking patience to be understood  a plea to feel understood by you id crawl on broken shattered fragments of my words to you to apologize for my spears that sought for blood like a firecracker trying to show all my colors  defending every feeling of mine, lacking the simplicity of empathy within a conversation stirred by my own negligence and lack thereof 

 who ever thought id end up like this again,  crying into a seedless relationship  spiraling from the clay he molded me into  back to goo just to be misused  you’d think i’d learn not to let my heart out of its icy chest  thinking you'd be near and now im here alone in vast what ifs and how comes lost in my own words i couldn’t tell you how i feel without a whiplash of trauma enclosing coma fears  lost in the shoes im suppose to put myself in to feel your pain and claim to understand a man who can’t help himself why am i here again trapped by the silences i chose  i open my mouth to unattainable ears  goo is what you heard when i cried out: i need you dear