days ahead

 who ever thought id end up like this again, 

crying into a seedless relationship 

spiraling from the clay he molded me into 

back to goo just to be misused 

you’d think i’d learn not to let my heart out of its icy chest 

thinking you'd be near and now im here

alone in vast what ifs and how comes

lost in my own words i couldn’t tell you how i feel without a whiplash of trauma enclosing coma fears 

lost in the shoes im suppose to put myself in to feel your pain and claim to understand a man who can’t help himself

why am i here again

trapped by the silences i chose 

i open my mouth to unattainable ears 

goo is what you heard when i cried out: i need you dear